Switch Games You Should Never Play Around Your Parents
Video games are largely meant to be shared experiences, to be enjoyed with friends after school or with family at gatherings. But there are also plenty of games that are probably best kept to oneself.
Obviously many games are made for adults, some titles really double down on the explicit content. Some games contain gratuitous violence that goes way overboard, while others are loaded with risqué situations and lewd behavior. These are the games that kids wouldn't want to be caught dead playing in front of their parents. What links all of them together is how niche they truly are. Gamers may feel a sense of embarrassment, guilt, or awkwardness when playing the following titles in front of others — or even by themselves.
Sure, the PC is full of games that shouldn't be played in front of parents, but even the "family-friendly" Nintendo Switch is no stranger to decidedly mature games. With that in mind, let's take a look at some of the games that most challenge the notion of the Switch being strictly for kids. Proceed with caution!
Sakura Swim Club
The Nintendo Switch is a great system for visual novels, with "Ace Attorney," "Danganronpa," and "Famicom Detective Club" being real standouts. However, the Nintendo Store has its fair share of obscure entries, like "Sakura Swim Club," a game that critics say focuses more on titillating art than gameplay.
Kaede is the new kid in school who takes an immediate interest in the swim club. Only two members are in the club, the main female characters of Mieko and Hiromi. This is where the fan service and revealing art comes into play, Hiromi and Mieko are shown swimming wandering the school in a variety of racy outfits. Unfortunately, that seems to have been the main focus during development. Criticism towards the game included lack of characterization and spelling errors, furthering the sentiment that many game elements took a backseat (via Node Gamers).
Switch owners may also be dismayed to find out that this version is unlike the Steam version, especially if they were interested in the more sultry parts of the game. Large portions of this port are heavily censored, featuring less revealing swimsuits. An external patch un-censors the Steam version further. Even so, the Switch version isn't exactly innocent.
Bayonetta 1 and 2
Platinum Games definitely found its niche in the "Bayonetta" series. Teetering between titillation and camp awesomeness, Bayonetta is a strong female protagonist that flaunts her charm and looks. But to put it simply, it's a game best played alone, because Bayonetta leans into the bawdy humor at every turn. She will smack enemies' rears as if to torture them before their demise. She's constantly posing, whipping, and strutting her way through battle, but the real nail in the coffin is Bayonetta's hair — which helps clothe her. Bayonetta will execute special moves and "Climax" attacks that cause said hair/clothing to disappear completely.
Playing in front of parents will definitely induce some embarrassing moments, but this has been mitigated for Bayonetta's third outing. "Bayonetta 3" has a family-friendly mode that can be selected so that gamers can be worry-free when others walk in on them playing. That doesn't negate the fact that the first two "Bayonetta" games are some very mature experiences for the Switch. Nintendo is closely tied to its kid-friendly brand, so "Bayonetta" remains a bit of a black sheep among the company's library.
No More Heroes Series
Ever since its debut on the Wii, "No More Heroes" has been a provocative series. The franchise is notorious for its protagonist, Travis Touchdown, who has a really potty mouth. Just as inappropriate is the excessive gore and over the top action. Even the save screen features Travis sitting on the toilet while waiting for the player to continue. And unbelievably, all entries are playable on the Switch.
The story goes that Travis has to brutally kill high ranked assassins and aliens. He'll execute his enemies in a number of ways, with decapitation and dismemberment being the primary modes. But the one method of battle that takes the cake is a twisted version of musical chairs. In this event, losers will be brutally vaporized by an alien laser beam.
One thing people might take issue with is Travis himself. As mentioned previously, the "hero" of "No More Heroes" is not the best role model. He curses out his siblings and borderline harasses female characters. Heck, he even charges up his primary weapon in a suggestive way! Villains aren't any better, like the wacky Bat Girl who smashes Travis and her minions to a bloody pulp with a gleeful smile.
It's all in good fun, however. "No More Heroes" doesn't want players to take its themes and content seriously. Just make sure the parents are asleep for this one.
My Friend Pedro
"A man and his talking banana" doesn't quite sound like the recipe for a hardcore mature game, yet "My Friend Pedro" surprises. Published by Devolver Digital, "My Friend Pedro" is a 2D action shooter that incorporates ricochet and slow motion mechanics to great success. To put it simply, it's like being able to play through "The Matrix" or "John Wick."
Firstly, the protagonist can dual wield weapons, meaning double the death. The main character can also kick an object in the air, shoot it, and have bullets bounce off. It's chaotic when the screen is being filled with bullets and blood aplenty. Conveniently enough is how the game does have a feature that turns off blood altogether.
Needing to be mentioned is how serious the plot is. The protagonist goes after arms dealers and bounty hunters under the orders of the talking banana, Pedro. Things get dark and culminate into a mind-bending final act. Some story bits will fly over the heads of younger players, but "My Friend Pedro" really isn't for them. Like many of Devolver's other games, "My Friend Pedro" is a blood-filled shooter that will stay in the minds of those that experience it.
And speaking of which...
Hotline Miami 1 and 2
Another Devolver title, "Hotline Miami" asks players to try surviving even more wild shootouts and fast-paced combat. Gameplay is largely experienced from a top down perspective as the character moves through interconnected to take down enemies. Like "My Friend Pedro," the narrative is mysterious, with the main character receiving conflicting orders to kill underworld figures.
The Switch is home to many cheerful and happy indie titles, but this isn't one of them. The plot is as dark as "My Friend Pedro," and the gameplay just as violent. "Hotline Miami" favors 2D sprite art, but that doesn't make kills any less grotesque. Gamers will be bashing the heads in of oncoming enemies with crowbars or shooting them at point blank range. Blood sprays in all directions, leaving splatter marks after every death. Likewise, the playable characters of Jacket and Biker are left in a bloody pulp when the player fails a level
Outlets like AV Club have noted that "Hotline Miami 2" is even nastier than the first, but both are extremely grotesque. Thanks to lightning-quick gameplay and interesting storytelling, however, they're definitely worth seeking out — as long as you're not put off by the gratuitous violence.
Senran Kagura: Peach Ball
One of the more risqué games on the list is "Senran Kagura Peach Ball." Anyone familiar with the titillating "Senran Kagura" franchise knows what they're getting into. For those not in the know, they will get quite the first impression. "Peach Ball" is little more than a diverting pinball title, just with the "Senran Kagura" touch.
This arcade-style game incorporates its scantily clad female characters in ways you might expect from this series, with most challenges ending with a girl getting splashed with water or some other cheesy punchline. One of the most explicit bonus challenges has players utilizing the pinball flippers to smack different parts of a girl's body. These sequences really showcase the game's detailed physics engines, but they don't do any favors for more conservative eyes.
For those really in it for the long haul, "Senran Kagura Peach Ball" also has some customization options. Each girl can be outfitted with a number of costumes and there are a several tables to play. Cheesecake aside, this game really isn't for everyone. The pinball mechanics aren't exceptional, but those only looking strictly for fan service might still enjoy their time with the title.
L.A. Noire
It might not be too surprising that "L.A. Noire" is on this list, since it comes from company that gave us "Grand Theft Auto." In comparison to that infamous sandbox franchise, however, "L.A. Noire" is more serious in tone. Rather than taking on the persona of a havoc-wreaking criminal, players take the role of a police detective. It's a good change of pace, but it brings some grim adult situations with it.
"L.A. Noire" charges players with investigation a series of different crimes, including arson and drug dealing, as Det. Cole Phelps. The protagonist's journey is spread across multiple chapters; each focused on a certain type of crime. Things escalate quickly, especially during homicide cases. These investigations require close-up examinations of corpses, as well as some intense witness questioning. It's not always a fun time.
"L.A. Noire" gained praise for its realistic facial animations during interrogations, as Phelps must read cues and pick up on hints from his suspects to successfully solve cases. These sequences can get hairy when witnesses turn hostile, though. Not only will they curse out Phelps, but the detective is likely to fire back by bringing up heavy and inappropriate subject matter. And of course, there are plenty of fiery shootouts over the course of the game.
All in all, this is one Switch port that isn't for the faint of heart, as it doesn't back down from the intensity of the original releases.
Borderlands Legendary Collection
The "Borderlands" series has always been a weird combination of friendly-looking cel-shaded graphics and inappropriate content.
Enemies will strap bombs to their chests and run right up to players before exploding. NPCs like Moxxie feature jaw-dropping proportions and spout tons of innuendo. Villains like Handsome Jack will spend the whole game taunting the player in imaginatively dirty ways, telling stories about scooping people's eyes out or getting new pet horse named "Butt Stallion." Then there's Tiny Tina, a wild child who commits some serious atrocities during the games. She's a friendly NPC, but it's still horrifying to see a kid ripping apart enemies with explosions. And with literally millions of weapons, gun violence is ever-present. Lastly, a number of side quests can be difficult to play through. For instance, one particular quest has gamers killing parody versions of the "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles."
Fortunately for squeamish players, there's an option to tone down the gore in some entries. However, that won't censor the loads of potty humor foul language littered throughout. The characters are almost laughable, but that's kind of the point, since "Borderlands'" intent is largely to parody the tropes of other shooters. It's a lot of fun, but it won't work for everyone.
Omega Labyrinth Life
Contrary to what you might expect from Nintendo, the Switch version of "Omega Labyrinth Life" is actually the least-censored release of the game. Before launching the game, PlayStation demanded that the publisher and developers comply with strict content guidelines, resulting in some drastic cuts (per Kotaku).
"Omega Labyrinth Life" features familiar dungeon-crawling with some light farming gameplay. A pristine garden becomes wilted, so characters must explore dungeons and encounter monsters to acquire the resources needed to restore it. Although that sounds pretty run-of-the-mill, there are some aspects that set this game apart from other dungeon crawlers on the Switch.
For instance, female characters will literally bounce on screen when it is their turn to talk, resulting in some unexpected jiggle physics. And yes, this occurs during every bit of dialogue. If that's not enough fan service, the combat system is even more blatant. After defeating enemies, Omega Points are acquired, which in turn increase the size of a character's bust (per Honest Gamers). Last but not least, the hot springs scenes are nothing short of perverted. Though a tasteful bit of steam covers various body parts, players are still encouraged to use their cursors to poke and prod these characters while they relax. It's a lot.
Doom (2016)
"Doom" was already a gore-filled romp back in the 90s, when graphics were less developed. The 2016 reboot retained most of the elements that made the original titles great, just with a fresh coat of modern paint. And with that graphical overhaul came some of the most gruesome battles in gaming. From blasting a demon's head off with a shotgun to stomping their organs in, 2016's "Doom" is all about making Doomguy murder monsters in the most ferocious ways.
Unlike other games on this list, there really isn't any sexual content present and swear words aren't overly used, but "Doom" is known for its hardcore action, which this game delivers in spades. For instance, Doomguy totes around a chainsaw that is almost always at the ready. Players will witness some memorable kills as monsters are torn in half. And game is played in first person so not only are these some graphic deaths, but they're seen with a close up view. Oh, and using the chainsaw rewards players with ammo, so the game actively encourages these wild disembowelments.
"Doom" isn't as crude "Borderlands," but it's certainly in the upper echelon of video game violence, which can definitely dissuade potential players.
The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt
It was unexpected to hear that "The Witcher 3" would be ported to the Nintendo Switch, what with the technological limitations of the console. For years, the game was locked on other consoles and PC, where the demographic is largely more adult. Reinforcing this vibe is the Netflix show based off of the mature games and novels, which definitely embraces the darker elements of the source material and occasionally goes too far, even for major fans. Even so, Nintendo players finally have the ability to experience a landmark fantasy adventure that's totally not safe for kids.
For starters, the opens with a shot of the main protagonist, Geralt, naked in a bathtub. And this is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to risqué business, since gamers will have the option to romance either Yennefer or Triss. One encounter sees Geralt of Rivia and Yennefer being intimate atop a stuffed unicorn. And this is not the result of a wacky mod; it's an actual cutscene.
If that's not enough, Geralt fends off both human antagonists and monsters in brutal fashion. He does so by wielding multiple swords or casting spells such as Igni, which will set them ablaze. It's every bit as intense as the Netflix series, which your parents may or may not be on board for.
Bulletstorm: Duke of Switch Edition
Where "Bulletstorm" really shines is in its over the top gameplay loop. In this FPS, players can kick explosive barrels at opponents and shoot them in slow motion to incinerate everything around. Another cool aspect is the leash, which can immediately pull enemies in to get the jump on them. As noted by Nintendo Life, "Bulletstorm" keeps track of kill stats and records how each enemy was finished off. Rather than sticking to one strategy, "Bulletstorm" encourages imagination and creativity in completing its campaign. That means performing some gruesome and bloody violence that may be uncomfortable for some.
"Bulletstorm" is a fun experience on the Switch, but constant profanity and over the top humor is present throughout. In a wild turn of events, the developers – to whom English is a second language – were shocked at the amount of swearing in the game (per Game Informer) when it was released. To put it lightly, "Bulletstorm" revels in excess. Some modes are completely omitted on the Switch version, like the co-op horde mode, but the style and graphic content is definitely intact. And to top off the "not safe for parents" sundae, the "Duke of Switch Edition" adds none other than Duke Nukem as a playable character.
Gal Gun: Double Peace
This is it. This might be the most perverted game on the list. Put the kids to bed!
"Gal Gun: Double Peace" is an on-rails shooter similar to classic arcade games, only players must move their cursor to female students and shoot love or affection at them. Why? Because the main character has been shot by cupid energy and has to find a soulmate by the end of the day, of course. The story is bonkers and is just there to provide context for the constant fan service.
A big hook here is the "Doki-Doki Mode," during which girls will lay on the floor while the player searches for the best spot to rub them. This will fill up a special gauge that can be used to trigger a Doki-Doki Bomb, which can help clear whole screens. A mix of spicy dating sim and shooter, Noisy Pixel's review put it best when it said, "'Gal Gun: Double Peace' is exactly what it looks like, so you're bound to know if this game will fit your library." While other games on this list are full of violent content, this awkward approach to dating makes "Gal Gun: Double Peace" impossible to play in front of your parents.