Dumb Things We Ignore In Mario Kart
Mario and his friends have taken part in many sports over the years, but there's a truly special place in gamers' hearts for the "Mario Kart" series. Ever since the series made its debut on the Super Nintendo, fans have enjoyed running one another off the virtual road and smashing up their cars with turtle shells of all shapes, sizes, and colors. The series fully embraces arcade-style absurdity, utilizing familiar elements of Nintendo's biggest IP to generate a racing experience that's as silly as it is exhilarating.
The games also don't bother with silly things like realism or common sense, making for some truly out of this world races. But even within that framework of wackiness, there are many things about the series that just don't make much sense at all. These things don't distract from the fun, but they're still interesting to think about! From inconsistent physics to crossovers with the real world, here are some dumb things that we all ignore about the "Mario Kart" games.
Is racing the only thing these people can agree on?
This is a question that could honestly apply to any of the "Super Mario" sports titles. But with "Mario Kart" being far and away the most popular of the bunch and featuring such a massive cast of characters, the question become even more evident: Do all of these mortal enemies just put aside their differences now and then for the love of the race?
Sure, everyone is using traps and weapons against one another, but they still abide by the basic laws of a race at the end of the day. If Wario comes in last, he accepts defeat, even if he's not happy about it. This is a far cry from the guy who would sooner stuff dynamite down Mario's shirt than shake his hand. Is there some kind of unwritten law in the Mushroom Kingdom that says everyone is equal on the racetrack?
King Boo is heavy, and that doesn't make any sense
The Boos have been a creepy thorn in Mario's side for years at this point, and that antagonistic relationship definitely extends to the "Mario Kart" games. Boos can be snagged as a power-up item in the series, temporarily granting the user spectral powers and making them impervious to any items tossed their way. Their fearful leader, King Boo, is also a regular participant in kart racing. He's a big ol' ghost, so "Mario Kart 8" naturally puts him in the Heavy weight class.
But... how in the (under)world does that work? We're talking about an entity that can turn itself into an intangible mist and glide through walls. Even if he's made out of ectoplasm, there's no way King Boo has any real heft to him at all, right? Until we get to see an actual Mushroom Kingdom weigh-in event, we've got a lot of questions about how to determine the mass and volume of a free-floating vapor.
Don't let your babies grow up to be kart racers
The proud tradition of allowing minors to participate in aggressive kart racing in Nintendo games dates back to the days of "Diddy Kong Racing," but Diddy and his pals aren't the worst offenders of the bunch. The "Mario Kart" series frequently makes way for literal toddlers and infants to get behind the wheel and wreak havoc on the Mushroom Kingdom.
Bowser Jr., for instance, is a fierce "Mario Kart" competitor, despite hardly being able to walk yet. Still, he's shown himself to be a capable adventurer in games like "Bowser's Fury," which is more than can be said for characters like Baby Mario. Although the adult version of the affable plumber is a well-known hero who has bested dragons and aliens from far and wide, the baby version is best known for screaming for help and relying on Yoshi to carry him around. The idea of letting something that helpless and emotional behind the wheel of a car is haunting (but undeniably funny to see in action).
The implications of real world companies in the Mushroom Kingdom
One of the most exciting bits of "Mario Kart" is the opportunity to drive vehicles that feel like they could only come from Nintendo properties. Tiny pirate ships, mini tanks, and archaic Hyrulian gliders are all up for grabs in this series, and later entries allow players to mix and match parts to create their ideal custom fantasy kart. But for those who want to add a bit of realism to their "Mario Kart" (for some reason), a handful of actual vehicles have also made the cut. Back in 2014, Nintendo partnered with Mercedes-Benz to add a compact SUV, a sports car, and a legit racecar to the line-up in the form of DLC — which raises a lot of questions.
Is there a Mercedes-Benz manufacturing plant in the Mushroom Kingdom? If so, why didn't the company embrace the same sense of whimsy seen in other vehicle designs in the "Mario" franchise? There's just something that feels off about seeing Yoshi driving a regular minivan. And if Mercedes-Benz manufacturers can go back and forth between the Mushroom Kingdom and the human world, is it possible that someone could try to take the anti-gravity tech from "Mario Kart 8" back to our world and try to turn a profit? The implications are mind-boggling.
Yes, we're definitely overthinking this. But to be far, we're not the ones who came up with this bizarre crossover in the first place!
Kart racers only need to breathe sometimes
The "Mario Kart" series charges racers with competing against one another in every corner of the Mushroom Kingdom, from the depths of the ocean to actual outer space. In "Mario Kart 8," spectators can be seen wearing protective gear and breathing apparatuses to allow them to get close to the action. The weird thing about this, however, is that the racers themselves apparently don't need any equipment to keep them alive in these conditions. They're just driving past Toads wearing scuba gear, apparently unfazed by the intense pressure of the ocean floor and able to breathe normally.
This was easier to overlook when the games themselves weren't drawing attention to the fact that Mario and company should absolutely not be able to breathe on these tracks. Aside from the fact that there are Toads in space suits and diving outfits, "Mario Kart Tour" would finally put racers in space suits for the Space Tour update! So how were they all managing before this?