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These Are The Funniest Weapons In Video Games

Cool weapons in video games are something we, as a community, tend to take for granted. The amount of work that goes into designing a weapon that stands out amidst a sea of like-minded games and approaches is truly impressive, all for a chance to entertain fans and create memorable experiences that can't be found elsewhere. Doom's BFG didn't become iconic by accident; it was created with just the right amount of reverence for the genre and a pinpoint delivery of the tone the game was trying to get across.


When it comes to cool weapons that are also hilarious, though, things get even more difficult. Is the weapon too sophomoric? Too complex? What about its usefulness in-game? There's a lot of questions developers have to ask themselves when it comes to designing a comedy weapon — and the answers aren't always what they expected. Here's our collection of the pound-for-pound funniest weapons in video games.

Wabbajack - The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim has it all. From quests that see players track an unsettling necromancer to the chance to enroll in Bard College, Skyrim is never short on options with which to live the life of a Dragonborn.


One of Skyrim's better elements that might not be immediately apparent is the title's sense of humor. Nothing captures that tone of tongue-in-cheek fantasy nonsense better than the Wabbajack, a weapon gifted to the protagonist by the Daedric God of Madness.

The Wabbajack is a magic staff that has infinite charges and casts a spell at random whenever it is used. The thing is, the spell isn't always useful — and is sometimes actively harmful, too. The Wabbajack can turn the tide of a fight in either direction, sometimes unequipping a target's armor, sometimes reanimating a dead body with super strength and causing it to fight the wielder. Sometimes, the Wabbajack summons an exploding chicken. You never really know what you're going to get.


The one constant with the chaotic Wabbajack is that it is a riot to use. There are two requirements for its enjoyment: one, have a good sense of humor, and two, make sure you save before you commit to using it in a big moment.

Monkey Bomb - Call of Duty: World at War

Call of Duty: World at War isn't the only game in the franchise to feature what is arguably the most entertaining weapon it has ever included, but it's the game that did it first, so it deserves special recognition. Zombies mode has been a mainstay of the series pretty much since its inception, and it has only grown in popularity with each iteration of the series.


Part of the reason Zombies is so popular is that it's just fun. Sure, there's still a high level of skill involved in deftly maneuvering a team around checkpoints, beating back wave after wave of the undead — but then there's also something like the Monkey Bomb to break the tension with a laugh and an amusing little song.

The Monkey Bomb first burst onto the scene as an item that could only be obtained through looting the Mystery Box in Der Riese. Grimly enough, the Monkey Bomb's origin is rumored to be that of an actual monkey who was killed and stuffed. If that wasn't odd already, it's also possessed by a child.

All of that goes out the window when it's wound up and thrown into a horde of zombies. There's not much else to do but laugh at the odd chime of the Monkey Bomb's tune as it slowly lures in a group of undead about to meet an explosive, colorful demise at the hands of a children's toy.


Blitzball - Final Fantasy X

The Blitzball holds a special place on this list as the only weapon that isn't intentionally meant to be funny. In fact, it's treated pretty seriously throughout Final Fantasy X's narrative, as Wakka grapples with his past as a Blitzball star and his duty to his brother, his land, and the future of the people of Spira.


With that being said, however, how does using a Blitzball as a weapon make any sense? It's essentially the equivalent of a soccerball. Some of Wakka's variants of the weapon have long spikes attached to it, but that just seems inconvenient, and nearly impossible to hold. Did we mention that it's a ball that has obviously been designed to not maim and kill people who play with it?

The fact that there are even upgrades for the original Blitzball weapon scattered across the world is equally bizarre. Who else is using this thing as a weapon? The Big Bad of Final Fantasy X is a gigantic whale that swallows entire cities. What exactly is the plan here?

While Wakka is a memorable and fun character, and Blitzball is actually a pretty fun minigame once you get the hang of it, it's hard not to Tidus laugh at the absurdity of sports equipment being used to mortally wound ancient evils.


Pegasus - Dead Rising 2: Off The Record

Dead Rising is a series that has no qualms with injecting some humor into a bad situation. It should come as no surprise that Dead Rising 2: Off The Record, a re-interpretation of the Dead Rising 2 storyline that sees the legendary Frank West take the spotlight as protagonist, is the franchise at its silliest and most liberated. The entire game is a giant "what-if" scenario, which means, as a non-canon entry, that developed Capcom Vancouver could get extra silly.


Enter the Pegasus, a combo weapon that only exists within Dead Rising 2: Off The Record. It's assembled by combining the stick pony with rocket fireworks, and the result is ... well, a stick pony with a firework strapped to its head.

Beyond the fact that Frank can essentially use the Pegasus to maim zombies with a unicorn totem, the weapon's alternate attack is a thing of beauty. Frank impales a zombie with the business-end of the weapon, and then lets the rocket firework do the rest, forcing the zombie into the air to explode in a wonderful combination of lights and gore.

It's actually a fairly useful attack, too, all things considered. Getting a zombie out of the way can sometimes mean life or death. Just try to keep a straight face while doing so; Frank West is a consummate professional, after all.


Cluckshot - Gears of War 3

The Cluckshot is definitely an Epic (Games) Easter egg, both in its execution and how it is uncovered. Gears of War 3 was a game filled to the brim with awesome Easter eggs that ranged in varying difficulties to find between "right in front of the player's face at the beginning of a level" to "even 98% of the development team didn't know this existed."


The Cluckshot leans toward the latter, requiring a lot of different steps to acquire that aren't necessarily intuitive. It's safe to say a lot of players went through Gears of War 3 without ever coming across the Cluckshot, which is a total shame, because it's also a sweet weapon that is hilarious to use in a game that sometimes takes itself a little too seriously.

The Cluckshot is a variant of the Boomshot weapon, but uses live chickens as ammo and shoots them off on a flight path, feathers and all, toward enemies. The chickens aren't messing around, either, as they'll explode and essentially instant kill almost any enemy.

Plus, the gun's name is really fun to say out loud. It's the little things in life that make for a funny video game weapon, and the Cluckshot meets all the requirements.


The Penetrator - Saints Row: The Third

The Penetrator has made two appearances in Saints Row games, but we're listing it under its Saints Row: The Third version because it's a full-on weapon in that game rather than a skin like it is Saints Row IV.


The Penetrator is a melee weapon that has been built using a dildo that is over a meter-long, which has then been attached to the handle of a baseball bat to maximize swinging efficiency and impact. When using it or just having it equipped, the game's physics also emulate a dildo made out of jelly to ensure some realistic interpretation of what has to be the world's most lethal sex toy.

The Penetrator is rewarded in a mission that involves interrogating a BDSM club's owner and then killing a bunch of Luchadores. If you enjoy subtlety, perhaps the Penetrator (and most of Saints Row: The Third, to be honest) isn't for you. If you prefer to be hit over the head with some giant purple jokes, though, the Penetrator is one of the most blunt, funniest weapons that video games can thrust on you.


Mr. Toots - Red Faction: Armageddon

The existence of Mr. Toots is likely the product of trying to shove a bunch of different internet memes into one single weapon in Red Faction: Armageddon. Fortunately, that approach seems to have worked, because Mr. Toots is one of the most hilarious and widely regarded goofy Easter eggs in all of gaming, even getting a shout out in the aforementioned Saints Row: The Third as the logo for The SNG.


Mr. Toots can be obtained in two ways: completing the main storyline once, or going through an incredibly convoluted series of tasks at the end of the game's first mission. Either way, he's a rainbow unicorn that shoots rainbow laser blasts out of his rear end, mimicking both Nyan Cat and Charlie the Unicorn all in one fell swoop.

Mr. Toots is a fairly relaxed unicorn that does seem to have issues with the way he's being used by soldiers, if his facial expression when he is being fired is any indication. To use Mr. Toots, the player character simply holds him with his butt facing out, lifts his tail, and squeezes.

Mr. Toots is an incredibly powerful, silly weapon, and we can only hope that Red Faction: Armageddon isn't the last time we'll see the destructive unicorn put to good use.


The Bane - Borderlands 2

The Bane gun holds a special place in the hearts of Borderlands fans, as it's a perfectly crafted microcosm of the type of humor fans can expect from Gearbox Software. The Bane giveth and the Bane taketh away.


The first thing fans will notice is that the Bane's damage output is top class for a submachine gun, outperforming pretty much everything in its category with ease. This comes with a very steep price in terms of mobility, however, as the Bane also makes players move at an incredibly slow pace.

That's not what makes the Bane hilarious, though. The Bane also comes equipped with voice modulation that is incessant, constantly screaming while in use. The voice actor is actually Ashly Burch, who also voices Tiny Tina within the series, but that doesn't help much.

Once the Bane has its hooks in a player, it doesn't really let up, either. Sometimes when players swap the Bane while reloading, its voice becomes attached to all of their weapons. This requires a game reset. Also, turning the in-game volume of the game down to zero actually does nothing to stop the Bane from continuing to chatter. It's annoying, but it's also hilarious, and the Bane is a funny video game weapon done to perfection.


Hand Cannon (Giant Foam Finger) - Dead Space 2

First of all, let's all take a moment to appreciate the fact that Visceral Games' pun game is so strong that they called a foam finger gun the Hand Cannon.

The Hand Cannon is only available to players who have completed Dead Space 2 on Hard Core mode. When Isaac uses the primary fire, he will yell "BANG, BANG!", and when he uses the secondary mode, he will scream "pew, pew, pew!" Whichever mode Isaac uses, as long as he has been accurate in pointing the finger at an enemy, the unfortunate adversary will have all their limbs popped off instantaneously before exploding in an instant kill.


Part of what makes the Hand Cannon so fun is that it exists within a game that does not try to be funny in any respect. Dead Space 2 is brutal, visceral (hey!), and gloomy at the best of times, and Isaac's journey is a struggle for survival not just physically, but mentally as well. The reward for surviving all of that is a relaxing jaunt through a replay of the game, complete with an Isaac who has either lightened up or has finally cracked and is enjoying himself as he explores all the horrors space has to offer. Either way, it's a good time.