Achievements That Troll You For Getting Them
Collecting every possible achievement for a game is a badge of honor for many players. It's not enough to simply complete a game anymore: you must complete every possible developer-sanctioned activity it has to offer. This usually means replaying certain parts over and over again. And while many gamers have started to argue that achievement hunting takes the fun out of it all, the players dedicated to filling their achievement lists beg to differ.
Even though most completionists will want to get every possible achievement, there are some that are more of a badge of shame than honor. Embarrassing achievements that make you do some morally questionable things are bad enough, but there's another type that will make any seasoned gamer cringe just a bit. These are the ones that make fun of you for getting them. You can always try to argue that you got them on purpose, but not everyone will believe that you would really empty an entire magazine without hitting a single target on purpose. These achievements point out just how terrible you are at a game. And even if you did decide to get them on purpose, they'll always be a bit of a black mark on your record.
Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands won't judge you
There are different levels of difficulty on games for a reason. Some gamers are seasoned pros, while others are a bit newer to the scene. Difficulty settings let you adapt them to fit your particular style. Of course, there are times when you may get a bit cocky about your abilities. In these instances, you might default to the hardest difficulty, thinking you can handle anything the game has to throw at you. But even the best players have faced that moment when they realize that they may not be quite as good as they'd originally thought. And in those moments, it's nice to know you can lower the difficulty.
If you do this, however, don't expect it to go unnoticed. If you're playing Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands on either normal or hard difficulty, you may just want to stick it out. Because if you change the difficulty to easy, you'll get an achievement called "Our Little Secret". The game even goes so far as to promise not to tell anyone as long as you don't. Talk about a blow to your ego. Maybe it would have been better to just die over and over again on hard mode while still keeping your dignity.
Cave Story wants you to get killed by a bunny
2004's adventure game Cave Story takes place in the interior of a floating island. While the dreamy scenery and unique story of the game itself offer a unique experience for players, there are still opportunities to embarrass yourself with troll-y achievements. When you're playing as a semi-powerful protagonist on an island full of bunny-like creatures, it seems like you'd be at the top of the food chain. And for the most part, this is true. But in order to get one achievement in particular, you'll have to swallow your pride and allow yourself to be defeated.
The floating island in Cave Story is home to a species of red flowers that, when ingested, cause the one who eats it to become rabid. This is the only way the cute bunny-like creatures on the island have been able to survive their enemies. Unfortunately for your character, one of the creatures who has ingested the red flower is an ally of yours. The good news is that it only does 1 HP of damage every time it hits you, which means it's incredibly easy for you to take down. The bad news is that in order to receive the "Toroko Wins!" achievement, you'll need to allow it to kill you. This achievement isn't difficult to obtain logistically, but it may be hard on your pride.
The Bourne Conspiracy can't believe how bad you are
When you think of a deadly killing machine, few names are more synonymous than Jason Bourne. After all, he's the man who could kill you with practically anything, even a rolled-up magazine. When playing as Bourne, it's only fitting that you feel unstoppable as well. Unless, of course, you're just terrible at the game. One particular achievement in The Bourne Conspiracy enjoys making fun of players who utilize their protagonist in a uniquely non-Bourne way.
If you manage achieve less than 10% on your accuracy for any given mission, you'll be rewarded with an achievement that disgraces the name of Jason Bourne. The "Need Glasses" achievement not only points out the fact that you've reduced one of the most notorious killers to a stormtrooper, but makes fun of you for it. No one wants to be labeled as the person who broke the assassin's excellent track record for marksmanship. But there's only so much the game can do to help you along. Short of turning on an auto-target feature, you'll just have to rely on your own skill to avoid this shameful achievement.
Don't be a bad loser in FIFA 10
Competitive online matches in games are a good way to separate the skilled players from the novices. While some victories can be attributed to luck more than skill, chances are if you win or lose repeatedly, it has more to do with your abilities. In a scenario where it's clear that you won't be winning a match, you have a few different options. You can either accept defeat and vow to get better or lie and say your internet connection died before the end of the match. But if you decide to blame a faulty internet connection for your string of potential losses in FIFA 10, be prepared for the game developers to call you out for it.
Bailing out of one match that you're clearly not going to win might be seen as poor judgement. Doing it twice might be a sign that your internet is acting up. But if you leave five matches in FIFA 10 that you definitely weren't going to win, there's no coincidence to that. That's simply known as being a poor loser. Appropriately, if you do leave five losing matches, you'll receive the achievement "Bad Loser" to wear as a badge of shame for the rest of your gaming days. Maybe it would have been better to just take the losses and and work on improving your season.
Action-RPG Risen thinks you're an idiot
Piranha Bytes' 2009 release of their action-roleplaying game Risen brought with it picturesque scenery and immersive gameplay. The environments created by this developer left little to be desired as players made their way through Faranga Island. And while the mountainous scenery provided gamers with a lot to take in, it also gave them plenty of opportunities to take a tumble over a cliff or two. The heavy brush could sometimes make visibility limited, and if you were going too fast, it was easy to miss a deadly drop right in front of you.
Falling off of a cliff because of carelessness is understandable. But most would assume that after your first fatal fall from a high ledge, you'd start to slow down a bit. It only takes one unfortunate death to remind you that unfamiliar terrain can be deadly. But for those special players who managed to fall off of hidden ledges three times, the game would reward you with a snarky achievement to let you know exactly what it thought of your clumsy nature. The aptly named "Idiot" achievement didn't pull any punches when calling you out for taking three tumbles. And if the constant fatalities weren't enough to keep you from throwing yourself off ledges anymore, the embarrassing achievement would seal the deal.
Put your aiming skills to the test in Secret Service
The game Secret Service is known for having some salty achievements that make you look bad for your lack of skill. The "The Exact Opposite of Your Job" achievement is famous for the cut-and-dry way it makes fun of you for killing the president when your one job was to keep him alive. In the spirit of not shying away from pointing out dumb mistakes made by players, Secret Service offers a few other achievements to take your ego down a few notches.
First-person shooter games can be difficult. Though each FPS game varies in its level of difficulty where aiming and combat are concerned, they all require a certain level of skill to play successfully. Secret Service is no exception to this rule. But some levels of failure are on their own rung of the skill ladder. If, for example, you empty an entire magazine without ever managing to hit a single target, you may not be the most skilled gunman. In fact, Secret Service will give you an achievement for this feat, awarding you with the title of "Expert Marksman." If that wasn't enough to shame you into submission, maybe the fact that your achievements are on display for the world to see will.
Don't be weak sauce in Blitz: The League
Like all sports video games, there are established ways to measure your skill. In a puzzle platformer, you may die over and over again, but eventually make it to the end. But with athletics, the fact that there's a scoreboard leaves little to the imagination where your success is concerned. This can be both a blessing and a curse to avid gamers. On the one hand, if you're good at the football game Blitz: The League, then you have definitive numbers to show your friends. On the flip side, if you're terrible, everyone will know. In fact, if there was any question to just how the game felt about your lackluster playing, an achievement would be happy to step in and clear things up.
The "Weak Sauce" achievement from Blitz: The League brings gamers enough shame to either throw in the virtual towel all together, or commit to honing their football skills. This achievement is obtained by losing the very first game of your season. In all fairness, the first game of any football season can be a bit touch-and-go, so judging you so harshly on one game sort of flies in the face of fairness. At least the stakes for your first game will be high enough to really motivate you to do well in order to avoid the embarrassing achievement.
Halo 4 discourages camping in a unique way
There are as many ways to play a game as there are gamers in this world. Some strategies favor stealth; some put more stock in spray and pray. But one thing in the gaming world can be generally agreed upon: campers are the worst. That's not to say that your hands are completely clean when it comes to this controversial technique. Even the best of us have been known to camp every now and then, but that doesn't change the fact that campers have a tendency to leave a bad taste.
While it may result in a few kills under your name, is it really worth the badge of shame that comes along with it? Instead of sitting there and waiting for the enemy to come to you, it might be worth your pride to simply get up and be proactive. In Halo 4, 343 Industries wasn't shy about telling campers exactly how they felt about them. In a very aptly named move, Halo 4 will award anyone caught camping with the achievement "Pitchin a tent." To steer clear of the public shaming, you should probably just avoid the practice all together.
Don't take the easy way out in F.E.A.R.
There's a lot to be said for those who enjoy playing horror games. They typically have a higher tolerance to jump scares and actually enjoy creepy environments. These things would have to be true for fans of F.E.A.R., since you're constantly surrounded by the ever-present threat of Alma looming around every corner. There are very few situations that a creepy little ghost girl can't make all the more terrifying. And Alma is nothing if not good at her job.
Because of the oppressive atmosphere of F.E.A.R., it's understandable that many players would want to get out of their job on the First Encounter Assault Recon team. But the easiest way to ditch your responsibilities would be to simply turn off the game. Some players, however, look for a more dramatic way out, and for this, they get rewarded with an achievement. If you kill yourself five times, you'll be awarded the "Suicide King" achievement. Whether you obtain this because the game just got too scary for you or because you aren't great with a hand grenade, you'll end up looking bad. This is one label that's best to avoid.
You should probably keep your day job, according to Payday 2
Who hasn't watched a few episodes of Breaking Bad only to think that they could be a chemistry master if they really wanted to be? Well the game Payday 2 gives gamers the opportunity to try their hand at science. Or at least, it gives them the opportunity to try to successfully make meth. And no matter how many episodes of Breaking Bad you may have under your belt, you still might not be entirely prepared for the task at hand.
Unless you're secretly a chemistry whiz, chances are you completely botched your first attempt at making meth in Payday 2. If this is the case, your failure will often result in blowing up not only the lab itself, but you and your entire squad as well. If you manage to do this, the game will give you the "F in Chemistry" achievement, correctly making the final judgement on your chemical skills. Or, in this case, the lack thereof. If you're really serious about making a career out of this particular exploit, you may want to go back to school to avoid blowing up all of your friends over a stupid mistake again. Or you could leave your illicit activities in the world of gaming and accept your failure with as much grace as possible.
Secret Service continues to troll players
For a game with a pretty cut-and-dry objective, Secret Service is loaded with sarcastic achievements that are more than happy to make fun of you for your frequent failures. It may just be that game developer Cauldron has a biting sense of humor on full display in this game, but their ability to cut down a gamer's ego in five seconds flat is something to be admired. While the previously mentioned "Expert Marksman" achievement teased players for their lack of accuracy, the "Drop the Pin" achievement finds another way to poke fun at any deficit in skill.
While some of these achievements are relatively forgiving, allowing for multiple failures before they'll point out your flaws, Secret Service doesn't waste time by sparing your feelings. If you manage to blow yourself up with a grenade just once, you'll receive the "Drop the Pin" achievement. Now you can be sure that the world knows you don't quite understand how a grenade is meant to work. At least with the "Suicide King" achievement in F.E.A.R. you can kill yourself four times without having your shame made public. Secret Service offers you no such leeway. At the very least, you can feel like they hold your abilities in high regard if you don't get these achievements.
Call Of Duty 3 rewards failure with sarcasm
The Call of Duty franchise may be one of the most well-known first-person shooters in the industry. With constant releases to keep fan interest fresh, the immense success these games have experienced only continues to grow. With each new game comes new challenges. Experienced gamers who have played every installment have new obstacles to overcome each time. But this also means there are plenty of opportunities to fail any given mission, especially when playing through it for the first time. They wouldn't be so bad if they weren't immortalized by unwanted achievements.
One in particular doesn't look too bad by name alone. In fact, Call of Duty 3 does a good job of masking exactly what the achievement is at a casual glance. But in reality, the "Purple Heart" achievement is only awarded to players who have managed to fail the same mission numerous times. 20 times in a row to be exact. That particular title may not seem too bad, but if anyone were to look a little closer at exactly what the achievement is for, it would spell instant disgrace for the one who obtained it. If you manage to fail a mission 19 times, maybe just give up and move on to avoid getting this achievement.