The Most Embarrassing Game Achievements Of The Last Decade
Ah, achievements and trophies: little badges of honor on your gaming account that tell the world "look what I did!" Unlocking an achievement is usually an exciting prospect, however, sometimes it can be a bit of a bummer, especially when the achievement exists to point out or poke fun at something foolish you've done in your playthrough. Some trophies are also less honorable than others and may leave you wishing to hide the truth from your friends or prying eyes.
Achievements occasionally have little meta jokes attached to them, ways for the developers to let gamers know they're aware of how preposterous the events in a particular game are. Other times, you have to wonder exactly what the developers were thinking when they decided to include these moments. These "accomplishments" can be downright humiliating. Here are the most embarrassing game achievements of the last decade.
I Couldn't Hold It In! - Death Stranding
Imagine you're describing Death Stranding to a friend who has been living in a vacuum; they have no concept of what this game is, but they know it's supposed to be a big deal. You highlight the amazing open world and interconnectivity between players, its incredible script that plays with high-concept science fiction ideas, its all-star cast. Imagine explaining the intricacies of Hideo Kojima's vision. Then imagine revealing that one of the many achievements you've received in the game came from making Norman Reedus take a leak in the bushes.
That's right: by guiding protagonist Sam Bridges off the beaten path and allowing him to relieve himself outside, you gain the achievement "I Couldn't Hold It In!" That's already a moment you may not be expecting from a game that loves to play with expectations, however, it should be noted that quite a bit of Death Stranding actually relies on the use of human byproducts. Still, the name of this achievement just makes the whole enterprise feel a little desperate.
I Did It for the Trophy - Yakuza 0
The name of this trophy immediately elicits a response of "Okay, whatever you say, my guy." In this case, Yakuza 0 protagonist Kazuma Kiryu finds himself perusing some adult videos, one of which is procured after completing a mission in the game called "How to Train Your Dominatrix." As you can probably tell, Yakuza 0 is full of blush-worthy moments and storylines like this one.
After viewing these "dirty movies" — which actually aren't as explicit as they sound — you will be awarded with the hilariously-named achievement "...I Did It for the Trophy." This achievement does the work for you, having already anticipated the excuse you're likely to give your friends when they notice that you've earned it. In your defense, this is just one of a large number of bonkers things you can get up to in Yakuza 0.
Tactical Genius - Ghost Recon: Wildlands
Ghost Recon: Wildlands is an intense experience that combines open world exploration and precise tactical shooter gameplay. You have many different tools at your disposal throughout the game, including plenty of weapons and vehicles. With so many different instruments of war, mistakes are bound to happen every now and then, right?
That's where the achievement "Tactical Genius" comes in, which is basically a badge of shame rather than a badge of honor. To earn this achievement, you have to improperly deploy a flash drone, which sends out a blinding light to cover you from enemy fire and give you the upper hand. If you manage to blind yourself instead, you'll receive a trophy that tells everyone else that you're bad at your job. Honestly, it may be even worse to have this achievement if you're the kind of person who would willingly blind yourself and your teammates on purpose just for the sake of completion.
The Call of Nature - The Last Guardian
The Last Guardian is a beautiful game from SIE Japan Studio, the same folks who brought us Shadow of the Colossus and Ico. This game tells a charming and heartwarming tale of a young boy and his friendship with Trico, a fantastical creature who is half-bird and half-mammal. The Guardian's review praised the game's story, saying it "shows an unspoken, healing bond forged in real time by two underdogs together facing otherwise insurmountable odds."
In yet another example of people and things relieving themselves in the name of a trophy or achievement, "The Call of Nature" is awarded when you happen to catch a glimpse of Trico doing his business. Unlike other instances of this sort of thing, however, you cannot make Trico do it on command. In fact, you may play through the entire game without it happening. If it does, however, you'll be treated to a humorous bit of narration in which the protagonist describes the moment in which he learned of "the greatest ... secret of Trico's kind." Isn't nature amazing?
Too Far - South Park: The Stick of Truth
When a video game based on South Park — a show that is an equal opportunity offender of religions and celebrities alike — thinks you have gone too far, you may want to stop and examine your life choices. This is especially true when this achievement involves what may be one of the most offensive sequences in video game history.
In South Park: The Stick of Truth, there are a few ways to obtain the trophy "Too Far." At one point in the game's story, the heroes do battle with evil Nazi fetuses (no, really). After killing one, you can fart on the dead enemy to unlock the achievement. You can also do this after defeating the Giant Fetus boss, just in case you missed your chance with your previous fetal foes. Whichever way you go about it, this is one achievement it's hard to feel proud of.
Just take your pick - Duke Nukem Forever
No one is going to step in and defend Duke Nukem Forever's honor or claim it's anything other than what it is: an outdated FPS with an even more outdated and misogynistic main character. The game prides itself on being offensive to just about everyone, but it's still a little surprising what passes as "achievements" in this game.
Take, for instance, "Turd Burglar," earned when you fish human waste out of a toilet with your bare hands. Even Duke will be surprised by his own actions. That should give you an idea of the level of humor you're dealing with, but it's achievements like "Full Body Tourettes," awarded when you fall down ten times in the game, that cross the line into try-hard territory. Not only is it an offensive joke, but it doesn't make a whole lot of sense when paired with the actions that earn the achievement. You're probably better off not having such a "prestigious" trophy attached to your account.
Snake Beater - Metal Gear Solid HD Collection
This is easily the funniest name for any of the achievements on this list, so hats off to the mad genius who thought of it. In the HD Collection re-release of Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty, you can find a certain locker with a poster of a swimsuit model inside. Position yourself in front of the poster and switch to first-person view, then have Snake call Otacon to check in.
Otacon will remark on the fact Snake apparently took a break from his important mission to be a bit of a lech, asking: "You don't have enough to keep you busy?" Following this awkward conference call, you'll receive the hilariously-named "Snake Beater" achievement. Not only is the pun incredibly solid (being both a dirty joke and a reference to Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater), but the fact Snake essentially has to tattle on himself to trigger the achievement is funny enough on its own.
I Swear! I Did It By Mistake! - Lollipop Chainsaw
Lollipop Chainsaw is somewhat infamous for its mix of splatterhouse violence, wacky humor, and abundant fan service. The game thrives on playing with genre tropes and turning them on their heads in hilarious ways. It also stars Juliet Starling, a cheerleader with a giant, diamond-encrusted chainsaw. In other words, it's the absurd monster-hunting hack-and-slash game you never knew you needed.
One of the achievements in this game is earned by getting a little creepy with the in-game camera. Tilting it just below Juliet's skirt will cause her to attempt to cover herself up, awarding you the trophy "I Swear! I Did It By Mistake!" Yeah, sure you did. Try using that excuse in the real world and see how well it goes over. At the very least, the name of the achievement is pretty much in line with the rest of the game's irreverent sense of humor.
View of the Valley - Asura's Wrath
From its potentially offensive portrayal of Hindu religious practices to the fact that gamers had to initially pay an extra seven bucks to see the game's ending, Asura's Wrath was a controversial title for multiple reasons. With that in mind, it should really come as no surprise that this game also has a rather cringe-worthy achievement hidden within.
During a scene in a hot spring, you can tilt the game's camera down to leer at the chest of a female attendant who will quickly try to cover herself when she realizes what you're doing. This will unlock the achievement "View of the Valley." As if that didn't make you feel enough like a pervert, the achievement's description is even worse: "Give in to your male instincts." Yikes. Your character may already be lounging in a hot spring in the game, but you're likely going to feel like you need to bathe after earning this trophy.
Puking Rally - Dead Rising 2: Off the Record
Dead Rising 2: Off the Record retells the events of Dead Rising 2 with a different lead character and some interesting new additions to gameplay. Among these changes happens to be one of the least dignified methods for defeating a zombie that has ever been featured in a video game. Ladies and gentlemen, we present to you: "Puking Rally."
This achievement is earned when you have your character partake in a bit too much alcohol. This being the zombie apocalypse, there's really no limit on how much booze you can procure without anyone raising an eyebrow. However, if you over-drink, you will be treated to the lovely sight of the protagonist vomiting all over the floor. If this is done with the right bit of timing, a zombie may step into the puddle of sick and slip in it. It's not exactly the most cunning of strategies, but at least there aren't any survivors around to be mad at you for the mess.
No Show - Prey
2017's Prey earned strong marks for the amount of control it granted players over their gameplay experience. "This new game is a set of interlocking systems that gives players freedom at every opportunity," wrote Kotaku's Riley MacLeod. "It's ripe with moments that will be unique to every player and is a game that shines when you take your time and forge your own path."
Imagine your chosen path was to give up and die immediately. That's essentially the idea behind nabbing the "No Show" achievement. If you manage to get yourself killed during the game's intro sequence (where there are no enemies), you'll end up with this embarrassing marker of your ineptitude. The easiest way to do this is to go up to the roof where a helicopter waits to take you to the real action, hop up onto the side, and walk into its spinning blades. There's calling out of work... and then there's this.
Basically all of them? - HuniePop
HuniePop is an interesting game for several reasons. "At first glance it might remind you of the 18+ Bejeweled knockoffs that litter Newgrounds' adult section ... but it's also a shockingly good puzzle game," described Geoff Threw of Hardcore Gamer. A hybrid dating sim/puzzler, HuniePop involves getting a series of adorably-illustrated ladies into bed by completing a series of challenges. Despite the solid gameplay and occasionally clever writing, the game was notable for being one of the titles banned from streaming on Twitch due to its content and "Adults Only" rating.
Even if you haven't viewed a single second of gameplay from HuniePop, its reputation isn't really surprising when you see the names of some of the achievements. If you aren't already blushing over the general concept of the game, seeing trophies with such classy titles as "V-Card Revoked" and (no joke) "Bestiality" will likely have you turning red.