Things Only Pokemon Go Fans Will Understand
Only a week after its launch, Pokémon Go is officially the biggest mobile game in United States history. With over 21 million daily active users in the U.S. alone, the app has taken the world by storm. We've been caught up in the craze too—in fact, we love the game so much, we've compiled a list of things only the elite club of Pokémon Go trainers will understand.
Team pride is serious business
Valor, Instinct, and Mystic: three words that now generate intense emotional reactions when you hear them. You're a paragon of team spirit and will stop at nothing to show those other losers who really rules your town.
The lengths you'll go to
You're bruised, your legs are sore, and you feel like you've run three marathons in the last week. But none of that matters, because there's a friggin' Articuno on top of that mountain, and you will NOT. GIVE. UP.
Yeah, we kayaked out to the fountain to claim this gym for #teamblue #pokemongo pic.twitter.com/vKyWMK4bsN
— Kelsey Thomson (@Kelchup) July 10, 2016
Parents just don't understand
Gone are the days when your parents texted you at 1AM, convinced you're out drinking booze and partying. They'll still text you, of course—but this time you won't have to lie about what you've been up to. Charizard is a perfectly good reason to break curfew.
What barbed wire fence?
Whether it's sneaking onto a military installation to stalk a Starmie, tiptoeing through someone's backyard to hunt a Haunter, or venturing into the wrong bathroom to catch a Cubone, nowhere is off-limits when there's Pokémon involved.
Doesn't matter; caught a Seaking
Trainers everywhere are having close encounters with curbs, trees, signs, and other natural and man-made objects in their quest to catch 'em all. From bruised faces to broken feet, players are taking some hard knocks because they weren't watching where they were going. Wear those injuries with pride—they are the scars of battle! We can imagine telling the grandchildren someday: "And that's how a Seaking put Nana in the hospital, kids."
Hilarious Pokéstop names, photos, and descriptions
You can thank the players of Niantic's other AR game, Ingress, for this one. Ingress players submitted the majority of the landmarks used in Pokémon Go as Pokéstops and Gyms, including their names, photos, and descriptions. If you know of any other funny Pokéstops, be sure to send pictures to @looper or @claireducky on Twitter.
Why Google's distance conversion tool is a lifesaver
Prospective Pokémon breeders who don't use the metric system were stymied when the game interface displayed egg-hatching distances in kilometers instead of miles. Never fear—to the Google! In the first week of July, so many people looked up the conversion of 5km to miles that the search term shot up the Google Trends list.
But honey, I really NEED a new mountain bike!
Not only are you salivating over the Pokémon Go Plus wristband, but you are now the proud owner of three power banks, two Camelbak hydration packs, and a bicycle mount for your phone.
Finding any excuse possible to leave the house
Mom wants a gallon of milk? You'll go find a cow and hunt for a Miltank. Your sister wants to go to the mall? You're suddenly her number one chaperone while searching for Charmander. Your boss needs a package mailed? You're on it, because you know the Post Office is also a Pokéstop. You start to cry when it rains, because you can't go outside to play video games.
Kids these days since Pokemon Go has come out pic.twitter.com/2C2a3VpgH2
— PokemonGo™ (@MustCatchEmAll) July 11, 2016
When traffic jams become golden opportunities
Commute slowed to a crawl because of a wreck? Gone are the days where you'd spend the gridlock banging your head on the steering wheel. It's not a problem—it's a perfect chance to hatch those eggs you've been lugging around for a week.
What's in a name?
You've finally caught a Zapdos, and you are completely incapable of doing anything else until you come up with a nickname for him (we named ours Tesla). You spend more time thinking of a name for your Pokémon than you did for your children.
You know exactly why this Gym matchup is hilarious
When Redditor /u/timmy12688 submitted a photo of two Magikarp struggling for supremacy over this Gym, we couldn't resist making this meme. For those not in the know, Magikarp's primary attack does 0 HP damage.
Taking pictures of your Pokémon becomes an artform
Pokémon Go brings nature-watching to a whole new generation. You stalk silently through the bush, in search of a Dratini in its native habitat. You're not a nerd staring at their phone—you're David Attenborough, you're Jacques Cousteau, you're friggin' STEVE IRWIN. (And if you'd like to see more pictures like this, go check out the "Pokémon Go Snap" subreddit.)