Why You Wouldn't Survive Life In The Kanto Region

Pokemon might seem like fun. You might even wish that Pokemon were real and that you, too, could go on a Pokemon adventure. Who doesn't want to be a Pokemon master? The answer is simple: those who have done their research about the sinister, unforgiving world of Pokemon. If you haven't looked into it, don't worry — we did that for you. You're welcome. 

Consider a few things before setting out on your journey: the Kanto region entertains a culture that's totally cool with intrepid 10-year -olds wielding powerful (sometimes fire-breathing) creatures as they trek solo across the land. That's kind of crazy, dangerous and downright deadly. But hey — if kids can do it, then why can't you? Realistically, you can't.

Here's why you wouldn't survive life in the Kanto region.

Forget the dangers of wild animals. Let's think about the dangers associated with wild Pokemon. As exemplified by the anime, even little Spearows can wreak some serious havoc. This is to say nothing of more powerful creatures like Charmander and other fire types, Pokemon that come with poison pins like Ninorino, and frightening Ghost types. Just read the original PokeDex entry for the Ghost type Gastly: "Almost invisible, this gaseous Pokémon cloaks the target and puts it to sleep without notice."

Let's just hope you don't run into a Gastly while out in the wilderness.

There's a good reason why Professor Oak warns players not to go into the tall grass without a partner Pokemon: it's too dangerous to go alone, as they say. Even if you have a Pokemon pal, this creature could turn on you and injure you more than any cat or dog ever could. In the Pokemon anime, Pikachu was happy to electrocute his trainer Ash a dozen times over. Charmeleon blasted him with fire many times, too. Do you think you'd survive third degree burns and heart-stopping electrocutions? Didn't think so.

The Kanto region hosts large swaths of wilderness between its towns and cities. These routes are where Pokemon trainers are meant to explore and search for new Pokemon. More recent titles introduced the concept of camping in these wild spaces, but would you really be comfortable roughing it for days on end? Are these 10-year-olds really equipped with the proper gear for survival in the wild?

Nope. In the anime, Ash and the gang often faced life or death situations because they were unprepared for the ruthless nature of the open road. There was a whole episode dedicated to Ash nearly freezing to death. Thankfully he had his loyal Pokemon to keep him from losing his toes to frostbite. Other trainers might not have been so lucky.

Pokemon become more powerful through battling; fortunately, there are plenty of trainers on the routes between cities just itching for a fight. Most of these people appear to be significantly older than the 10-year-old protagonist, and these battles are essentially to the death, each and every time.

Trainers battle until they have no more usable Pokemon — that's brutal to begin with. What's worse is that these adults expect payment upon winning. It seems kind of wrong for these grown people to shake down kids for their lunch money. 

Adults clearly have no concern for the well-being of kids in the Kanto region. This is best exemplified by the dastardly Team Rocket, whose members are happy to attack kids. Natives to the Kanto region must deal with dangerous Pokemon, the brutality of nature, and cutthroat trainers and villains who won't take no for an answer.

Maybe you should just stay home.