The Cheapest Jokes Video Games Have Ever Made

When you pick up a funny video game, you usually expect a mix of good and bad jokes. But sometimes, a serious game will surprise you with a bad pun that comes out of nowhere, totally changing the mood of the scene. While these can be entertaining, some just make us groan with how awful they are. And then there are game developers like Rare who just might have a bad-joke department in their building. They've turned awful puns into an art. And it's an art that we sometimes wish would die.

Every once in a while, you'll stumble across a joke in a game that's so awful it's actually funny. And then there are these jokes. The ones so cheap that you may have physically rolled your eyes at them when they first appeared on your screen. But even when they are obvious, overdone, and just plain cheesy, they still hold a special– or reluctantly special– place in our hearts. Here are some of the cheapest jokes video games have ever made. Be prepared to develop an instant love/hate relationship.

Rare's Donkey Kong games are a staple of most gamer's childhood memories. These games were anything but serious and held a fair number of purposefully dumb jokes. The fact that the entire franchise is based on an ape throwing barrels at things is the first hint that you won't find many deep and existential themes. But for all of the cheap jokes made in the Donkey Kong franchise, one of the cheapest is so often overlooked, most gamers don't even know it exists. What makes this feat more impressive is the fact that it's actually the title of one of the games.

Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest, released in 1995, is a play on words that fits so perfectly, many gamers have read the title for years as "Diddy Kong's Quest." While this is one community-wide phenomena that can't be attributed to the Mandela Effect, it's still impressive that a joke so awful can still fit so well into its environment that it goes widely unnoticed. Because of this, the joke itself is almost redeemed. But the play on words, once seen, can't be unseen, and the fact that you didn't notice its existence for so long only solidifies its groan-worthy nature.

When gamers think of the horror franchise Resident Evil, cheap jokes aren't usually what comes to mind. Dogs jumping through windows, the unhinged Baker family, and some very unpleasant imagery are likely the more prominent go-to for fans of this series. But even though most of your Resident Evil memories are dominated by horrors you want to forget, an even more horrible memory may have been suppressed: the awful "right hand" joke, born in Resident Evil 4.

While protagonist Leon attempts to rescue Ashley in rural Europe, he finds himself not only infected by the plague, but also pursued by the short and persistent Salazar. During a conversation, Salazar says that he "sent his right hand to dispose of [Leon]," to which Leon replies, "Your right hand comes off?" This makes an otherwise tense revelation that a horrible enemy is coming after you into something you just want to forget. The awful joke is glossed over so quickly that it's likely many players don't even remember it, which would be for the best. It might be a good thing for everyone if Resident Evil just stuck to what it does best: gross out even the strongest of players while still terrifying them endlessly.

ArenaNet's MMO Guild War's 2 is a perfect example of an RPG that is both serious and unafraid to be silly at the same time. From some of the more comical races like the Quaggans to the recurring airhead NPC Lord Farren, these developers know how to throw a punchline. And then there's the Halloween patch that comes around every year, which brings Mad King Thorn into the world of Tyria. No one is safe from his wrath, or more importantly, his awful jokes.

During the Halloween season, Tyria is transformed into a spooky landscape of pumpkins and candy corn while the lore of Mad King Thorn is learned. The king killed his own son by stuffing candy corn in his mouth and letting him starve to death in a box — dark and morbid for an MMO. But in order to find balance, ArenaNet has also given Mad King Thorn a relatively out-of-place and entirely annoying personality trait: he walks around the city of Lion's Arch reciting terrible jokes. And if bad jokes were enough to kill off the citizens of Lion's Arch, the city would be completely empty by the end of the Halloween season. With everything from jokes about every race found in Tyria, to his banter with his dead son, Mad King Thorn is truly the king of cheap jokes. No one should even try to steal his title.

For anyone who's played Portal or Portal 2, it's no secret that the evil AI GLaDOS doesn't harbor much love for protagonist Chell. As Chell makes her way through test chamber after test chamber, GLaDOS keeps up a barrage of cheap insults and jokes at the player's expense. And while the cutting remarks may slowly wear Chell down, the biggest hardship is the lack of cake.

Throughout your playthrough of both Portal games, GLaDOS will insult everything from Chell's weight to her lack of intelligence, and even digs at her parentage. But as hurtful (though sometimes hilarious) as these jokes are, the cheapest comes as a two-for-one. Exiting the elevator to begin a new test chamber in Portal 2, GLaDOS informs Chell that people with a guilty conscience are often startled by loud noises. Of course before she can finish her sentence, a train horn blares through the test chamber, sure to startle anyone. This moment earns GLaDOS' prank the title of cheap joke and cheap scare all in one. In her defense, we did kill her only one game earlier. Maybe a bit of revenge is in order for her.

Ranching simulator Slime Rancher took an already widely explored game genre and managed to turn it into something unique. With the release of their debut game in 2016, developer Monomi Park combined ranching, crafting, combat, and exploration with the most adorable slimes ever to grace video games. But in a game as lighthearted (or not) as Slime Rancher, there are plenty of opportunities for cheap jokes.

Most of the bad jokes in this game come in the form of terrible puns and plays on words. But the Slimepedia is an absolute gold mine of cheap jokes. For any slime rancher worth their weight in Newbucks, the Slimepedia is a vital piece of literature. Detailing everything from what particular slimes like to eat, to the danger level each slime poses for ranchers, the Slimepedia is the pinnacle of all slime ranching knowledge. But two entries in particular stand out for the eye-roll-inducing text. Under information regarding the explosive Boom Slime, the Slimepedia states, "Careful, these slimes have been known to explo–." And while this joke may be a bit cheap, the Slimepedia entry for the Hunter Slime goes a step further. The entry talks about the Hunter Slime's ability to become almost transparent with the exception of it's glowing eyes. It goes on to say, "This effect is often described by unsuspecting ranchers as 'aaahhhHHHH!"