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Dr Disrespect reveals his struggles since Twitch ban

It has been two long months since Dr Disrespect was mysteriously banned from Twitch. Since then, the Doc has made a return to streaming on YouTube, racking up some insane viewership numbers without even securing an official contract deal with YouTube Gaming. Despite being back on the rise, it seems that the Doc is having quite a difficult go of things.

Toward the end of a recent stream, Dr Disrespect opened up to his fans about the kind of stress he continues to feel. It seems that even the Two Time Champion struggles with anxiety from time to time. 

"I feel like I need to talk to you guys, right now," the Doc said. "About how I've been really feeling about everything."

The Doc took a moment, seemingly gathering his thoughts. After quickly thanking a fan for their donation, he continued. He explained that he's not someone that usually lets pressure get to them. He told his fans he'd been playing sports his whole life and that streaming for huge audiences has never intimidated him. It seemed that Dr Disrespect really wanted to set the table before he truly told his fans how he'd been feeling lately. 

"I've never dealt with anxiety before," said the Doc. "I never have, you know?"

He explained that his Twitch channel had gotten to "such a good point," and that he was really proud of himself and happy about his fanbase. "And then to have that all taken away from you, and to not know why ... The fact that I am here live on YouTube, it's been a fantastic return. I'm telling you, it is. But my anxiety levels ... it's something that comes in these huge waves and I'm, I'm having a hard time dealing with it."

During this speech, Dr Disrespect's usual flippant tone was gone. He switched off the music and got very serious with his audience as he spoke. It's clear that he wanted to communicate with his fans that he's still worried that what happened with Twitch (whatever it was) could happen again. 

The Doc once again reiterated that he has no idea why he was banned from Twitch in the first place. He acknowledged that his YouTube numbers were "fantastic," but explained why he was so frustrated by the whole situation. According to the Doc, he wants to own up to whatever mistakes he made that caused the ban. However, he feels like Twitch didn't give him an opportunity to make up for whatever the problem was. 

"It comes in waves," he reiterated. "Just so you know. So there might be days where the Doc seems off, feels off."

Dr Disrespect has not talked too many specifics about his ban since his return to streaming. During his first stream back, he sort of addressed his ban in a roundabout fashion, but he didn't get into any of the gritty details. Instead, he just told his fans he was glad to be back. Since then, one of the few times it has seemed like the Doc has expressed his feelings on the matter has been during a music video he recently uploaded. In that, he repeatedly sang to his fans, "I feel like some things have been taken from me."

There have been numerous hints in previous months that Dr Disrespect may be fully aware of why Twitch decided to axe his channel. In a stream with Hasan Piker, noted games journalist and info leaker Rod "Slasher" Breslau insinuated that there were serious criminal charges that could be leveled against the Doc. However, Breslau also said that he couldn't be more specific without being in danger of a slander suit of some kind. Breslau said he'd only come forward with the information he had if he was guaranteed indemnity from whatever publication ran his story. Breslau has more or less remained silent on the issue since then, so there's no telling what information he may have or if he found out later that his information wasn't correct. 

It's starting to look like fans may never know exactly what happened between Twitch and Dr Disrespect. However, it does look like things are more or less improving for the Doc. Despite his frequent anxiety issues, his brand has remained valuable. As mentioned previously, he's seen some incredible viewership numbers since his return, outdoing the hype seen for Ninja's surprise return streams. The Doc has also formed a partnership with Hi-Rez Studios, designing a new map for Rogue Company called The Arena. He's even announced a new autobiography, which is currently available for preorder. However, just like with everything else surrounding the Doc lately, it's safe to assume that his new book won't offer any definitive answers surrounding his ban.